Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Bar Review version 8.25: Earthquakepocalypse

Thank God you’re all alive. We here in DC looked death in the eyes today. Not since Jcrew ended their summer sale has the District seen such horror. Country songs asking where you were during the earthquake will be written, memorials in honor of the fallen books erected, children will read our fearless Facebook updates and Twitter tweets to learn of our collective strength and sacrifice. We are survivors but now we must rebuild. I know it is tough, it might take seconds, maybe even minutes, to straighten out your picture frames, to upright that tipped water bottle, and to put your coffee table magazines back in order. That is why the Bar Review Committee is here for you all in these days of despair. We know your pain, and we know how to fix it. That’s right . . . the FIRST BAR REVIEW OF THE YEAR. And yes, for those who don’t know, it requires all caps just as much as all our mother’s think their Facebook comments do.

Alas, with the first Bar Review comes the first week of school. Summer comes to a tragic end. Smiles fade, and frown lines take shape. For those of us who are 2, 3, and 4 (I’m so very sorry) Ls we return to WCL and greet our friends, exhale loudly in annoyance when our trusty and well known gunner pals stretch their rusty arms and thrust them high into the air, and practice our fake smiles when we find out that someone had a paid internship or a summer associate position. I worked in a cubicle for free; this half assed fake “congrats” is all you’re getting you fucking overachiever.

The wonderful new batch of 1Ls descend upon an unsuspecting Pence law library, highlighters in hand, ready to make a San Francisco pride parade out of their torts books. And lastly, classes resume, making our lives the living hell that we have grown to know, tolerate, and pay a shit ton of money for. So come, imbibe, be merry. Bar Review is here for you, every week, like one of those State Farm insurance commercials with less singing and car wrecks and more vodka. Much more vodka. This week the Asian Pacific Law Student Association (APALSA) and the Black Law Student Association (BLSA) are co-hosting at Public Dupont and $3 gets you a wristband for some great drink specials. Come drink and honor the diversity that makes WCL so great.

$3 Domestic
$4 Imported
$5 Rail
$4 Svedka & Flavor drinks
$3 Mini Kamikazes

Public Dupont
1214 18th Street

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